three times a bridesmaid

I came across a U.S. News and World Report article, Always a Bridesmaid? It Gets Expensive, that made me want to add up the financial hit my three weddings will give my pocketbook and do some research to see just what a bridesmaid buys for the big day.

The article quotes a stat from TheKnot.com estimating a bridesmaid spends about $700 on a wedding.  To some that might seem like pocket change, but I, like millions of Americans, live paycheck to paycheck.

Luckily, my first two weddings weren’t as pricey. Bride No. 1 bought our dresses as her bridesmaid presents. But, still with accesories, party planning, and other costs, I still easily spent $300.

Bride No. 2 allowed us to pick a simple black dress. I found one for about $20 that worked, but her wedding was out of town, and again I spent about $300.

I think I got off pretty easily, but that won’t be the case with Bride No. 3. Kim is my sister so of course I want to pull out all the stops and give her the best bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding day ever.

We’re planning a bachelorette party in Las Vegas, and she’s planning a Brooklyn wedding. Travel and accomadation costs alone will run in the thousands. I’ve started saving, and maybe I’ll put all blog profits toward the cause.

I’m fairly financially stable right now, but can’t imagine doing this a few years ago when I was fresh out of college and fresh out of extra cash.

If you’re about to be a bridesmaid for the first time, or a bride to be, I’ve collected a list of bridesmaids financial responsibilities, and do hope you’ll chip in your own ideas about how this should work:

Dress: $200

Alterations: $75

Undergarments (You always need something in this department): $30

Hair, nails, makeup: $150

Shower gifts: $50

Contribution to bachelorette party: $70

Contribution to bridal shower: $50

Wedding gift: $100

Travel/Accommodations: Vary widely from $100 to thousands of dollars.

I’m interested in starting a conversation about this, so I have a few questions I’ve been wondering about.

I have other friends who are at engagement stage and think other bridesmaids asks are inevitable can I turn down just on financial strain concerns?

For married people, what did you expect out of your bridesmaids?

And for everyone, has the bridesmaids tradition gotten out of hand financially, or is this “what friends are for?”

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