three times a bridesmaid

Luckily, the question is theoretical for me. But, with the constant bad news coming out about the economy, made me wonder how it’s effecting bridesmaids.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post estimating bridesmaid wedding costs to be around $700 a wedding. My first two weddings cost me less, but the third wedding will be way over that budget, and I’ve started saving early.

I thought about what would happen if another friend else asked me to be a bridesmaid while I was putting back every penny for my sister’s wedding in 2010. Could I say no citing money sources? Friendship is supposed to be priceless. But, shouldn’t my friend understand financial struggles?

I researched the common etiquette to the rules of turning down a request to be a bridesmaid and found this common sense list of reasons you can turn down a request, including money restraints, from The Bridesmaid’s Survival Guide. I’ll paraphrase below:

1. If you can’t afford the bridesmaid wardrobe demands.
2. The wedding is out of state.
3. You’re asked by someone who isn’t a good friend.
4. You have family/work commitments, like having a baby, traveling a lot of state for work.

I would fear my friendship wouldn’t last after this blow to the bride. So, I thought I’d dig up the best advice for graciously turning down a request, and unfortunately, didn’t come up with a great resource. A compilation from the sites I visited.

1. Tell the bride early, don’t procrastinate as easy as it may seem.
2. Be honest about the reason (hopefully one of those above). You’ll feel better and avoid awkwardness if the bride catches you in a lie later.
3. Suggest another wedding day role. Offer to go shopping or make decorations with the bride.

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